I just can't keep doing this to myself. We've been praying specifically and seeking what God wants us to do, and I can't let the enemy keep creeping in and destroying the progress I've made. So I took away the problem... For now anyway. Just until I can get to a better place spiritually, a place where the first feeling I have for a person is happiness and not envy or hurt or anger.
I downloaded Overcomer by Mandesa yesterday... It's a very uplifting song, and congrats to her for winning 2 Grammys she totally deserved it! The words that I love the most are "don't quit, don't give in, you're an overcomer". I also really love the song by Laura Story called Blessings it's an amazing song that puts things into perspective! I feel like when I sing praise songs I'm closer to God, don't get me wrong I still pray, but I love to sing praises to Him! There have been so many times I've been moved to tears by the words of the songs I sing, "Sing praised to God, sing praises, sing praises to our King, sing praises." Psalm 47:6
I feel sometimes like a whiner, like that maybe since it's been 4 months I sould be "over it" but it's not that easy. It's hard... It's so hard. It's like there is a piece of me missing, I had a friend describe it like this... In my heart I'm already a mother, God already knows the names of my children he's just making me wait a little while longer to receive our blessing. He has a good reason for making us wait and when it's finally revealed we will feel so silly for doubting Him!!
Well friends it's late and I just want to thank you all for your continued prayers!