Counting my blessings!

Tonight as I lay here on the couch feeling Sawyer kick and roll around I can't help but to feel full! Full of blessings, full of Gods mercies and grace, and full of baby! We are 27 & 1/2 weeks and we are so excited to meet our miracle baby, only 3 more months! Every time I feel a kick or movement I sill can't believe that I'm pregnant, after being told we'd never conceive naturally and losing our 3 embryos through IVF the day I took the pregnancy test was the most mind blowing day of my life! Our God is truly amazing and ALL things are possible through Him! 

Not much has been going on lately, we finished our registry at target yesterday and learned that Walmart no longer offers in store registries it's all online, kind of irritated me a bit but whatever! Tomorrow we have a doctors appointment and the 3D ultrasound, we're pretty excited to see baby Sawyer's face! I'll post pics sometime later this week! Right now though I'm tired so I'm headed to bed! Good night all! 

Ashley 

"Watch your Tone"

I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve heard this phrase… I don’t know how many times in my life I’ve said this phrase.  One thing I do know is how true it is and how with just the tone of our voices we can lift up our brothers and sisters or we can tear them down… way down.  It may just be my over sensitive hormones and the fact that a commercial on TV or a song on the radio can bring me to tears right now, or perhaps it’s an epiphany from God. A way for him to show me just how powerful my tone of voice can be, I was on the receiving end of quite the lashing a few days ago and I know that the person that lashed out didn’t mean it but it really hit me hard. I spent the next few minutes after they were finished going through my emotions: sad that I’d upset this person, mad that they’d lashed out, then into uncontrollable crying and sobbing and not being able to explain to my husband why I was crying. The crying lasted about 20 minutes as witnesses asked me if I was ok… Just a side note, when you see a pregnant woman trying to fight back tears asking her if she’s ok is just a good way to get those tears to start flowing again! After we got home and I was able to actually talk to Chance about it the tears and why I was crying it all came again, the tears and sobs, don’t ask me why I can’t give you an answer… just that they started and they wouldn’t stop. Eventually they did and I got over it, as much as I could.

 

So now on to my epiphany, is this the way that I make people feel when I get an annoyed tone with them? Have I ever caused someone to cry at the sound of my words or the words that I’ve said? Have they dwelt on what I have said to them for days and wondered what they ever could have done wrong to cause me to treat them in such a way? Lord help me I hope not.  I’m afraid though that I have and that I’ve done it not realizing the extent of what I’d done… with just my words. The Bible talks about ‘Taming the Tongue’ in James chapter 3 verses 1-12:

Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind,      ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

No human being can tame the tongue… just let that sink in… we can’t tame our tongues, we can only seek God’s help in making sure that only good things and uplifting words come from our mouths. A salt spring cannot produce fresh water. The saying from my childhood comes to mind, we’ve all heard it and said it before “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me” this is the furthest from the truth. Broken bones and cuts heal, once the casts and bandages are gone so is the hurt that went with it, you may never forget what was done but the pain eventually is gone. Words cut deeper than any knife and linger longer than any bone can take to heal. Words are never forgotten and can last a lifetime.

I started thinking about all the times that Chance has told me about my “tone”.  I never realized that I was using a tone but to think that I might have shown him disrespect in just a tone of voice makes me wonder how many others have I disrespected with just my tone. Then I got to thinking about Sawyer and when he gets big enough to ask me something and I’m already annoyed at something else and I answer him with annoyance in a sarcastic or condescending tone, will he still want to come to me and ask me things? Will he be afraid to ask me questions for fear that I’ll lash out with annoyance? I pray that I can make a change before my son has to hear that. I pray that I can start thinking of my mood before I speak and potentially ruin someone’s day; I pray that God can help me get a hold of my own tongue and never make someone feel inferior or less of the amazing person that he created just from my words. I know that I definitely need a lot of help in this department, just yesterday when buying fabric for Sawyer’s room the lady at the fabric store was quite rude about me placing a special order and well I am my mother’s daughter and when the lady got snotty so did my mom and then I started to… I ended up sending my mom out to start the car so that all 3 of us didn’t get into a scuffle and by the end the lady had straightened up and I got a discount on the fabric I’d had to order. Not because she was that nice but that’s just how the computer rang it up. As I left I thanked her and told her to have a good day and I actually meant it, I was not just saying it spitefully like I’ve done in the past. It wasn’t the lady’s fault that she was the only cashier and the only other person working in the store was cutting the fabric for all the other customers, they truly did need more help.

So there you have it, my epiphany if you’ll let me have it that way. God is working on me still and if any of you are reading this and have been victim to me and my tone, tongue, or condescending words please accept my deepest apologies. I want to leave you with a song from Hawk Nelson called “Words”, I’ve tried to add the video into this post but it might just be the YouTube link. In the song he says “Words can build us up, words can tear us down, start a fire in our hearts or put it out”… I don’t want to be the one that puts out a fire in someone’s heart; I want to be the one that helps lift them up and keep that fire burning. Have a blessed day friends.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=anVweXDcxhA

Ashley

Leg cramps & Back pain & Mood swings... OH MY!!

So by the title of my post I'm sure you're thinking that I'm about to complain about my pregnancy... Well you're partially correct but mostly I'm just uncovering some ugly truths, so bear with me! First of all, the blessing if being able to carry and grow a child out weighs everything I'm about to say. Second of all, I still can't believe that God chose me to be this baby's mom and for that I thank him everyday! 

Leg cramps... OH MY GOODNESS, I only thought that I had leg cramps before, now that I'm pregnant I know what a real leg cramp feels like, it's like someone has put your calf or shin muscle or foot into a vice and they're just cranking on that thing until all you can do is scream. They come without warning in the middle of the night and you have to jump out of bed like a round bellied ninja to put your foot flat on the floor while trying not to scream out in agony and wake the neighbors! Leg cramps should be a form of torture! 

Back pain... I blame it on my growing mid section, it seems to be worse when I'm on my feet a lot. This weekend we've been cleaning out bedrooms and closets preparing to move our guest bed to a different room because the current guest room will be Sawyer's room. When my back gets to hurting I feel like I waddle, I'm only 21 and a half weeks, I shouldn't be waddling... Yet! I know it's inevitable, I've come to terms with that fact and I'm ok with it, but man I have a bad feeling about the 30+ weeks!! You know the saying weebles wobble but they don't fall down... Well that will be me I'm pretty sure of that, I just hope I don't fall over! 

Mood swings... I'm irritable, I'm cranky, I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm irritable... Oh wait I said that already! Did I mention I'm irritable? Things have NEVER gotten to me as much as they do now. The dogs, people, laundry, dishes, my husband (oh but I do love him so)!! Rude people in the public make me crazy I just want to smack someone! I'm super sensitive of Chance too... If he's in a cranky mood it can make me cry, or make me want to punch him, depending on the day! Most of the time he is fantastic but we all have our moments (mine come more often these days) and I love him to the moon! I yell at the dogs a lot I'm pretty sure Sawyer will come out saying "Max stop" or "Mason no"!! I really need to try to get these emotions in check, it probably won't happen but at least I can say I tried!! 

My cravings haven't been crazy just normal food not like pickles and ice-cream... Pickles are gross!! I've eaten quite a bit of captin crunch, Special K, meat and potatoes, zucchini, and I can't get enough DR Pepper!! The other night right before falling asleep I had a craving for a cupcake but I decided that sleeping was a much better idea, plus I didn't have any cupcakes and I wasn't going to go get one! My little guy moves around a lot when I drink sweet tea and I'm feeling more and more of his movements everyday, I can't wait til Chance can feel him too!

We are so blessed and are cherishing every moment of this pregnancy! I know that there are plenty of women who are struggling to conceive, waiting on adoption placement, or foster placement and please know you are all in my prayers! Just 6 months ago we never imagined that we'd be pregnant much less pregnant naturally. Our God is mighty and he works in His time not ours, He knows the plans he has for us and he will prosper us, not harm us and give us hope and a future! He is amazing and all knowing and we have to trust Him! Thank you for reading and be blessed friends!

Love, Ashley

Baby Robbins is a...

Well today marks 21 weeks and baby Robbins is moving around so much! Last week we found out that baby Robbins is a BOY!! That right Sawyer Rex Robbins is who is growing in my belly! Here's some pics from the ultra sound... 

There he is... He's so adorable! I was beginning to get nervous in the ultrasound because he wasn't showing himself. The appointment was at 2:30 and we had a gender reveal party at 7pm... But he came through or the US tech made him mad enough that he showed us the "goods"!! I'm so glad too because the party was a hit! There were so many of our friends and family there it was awesome! Here are some pictures from the party...

Me and my bestie! 

Me, my momma, & my Memaw!!  

Chance is cookin hot dogs! 

Some of the crowd! 

Our reveal box! 

It's a BOY!! 

The beautiful cake my friend Janetta made! It was delicious! 

Which team were you on!?!? 

That's all I've got for now! Have a blessed night friends! 

Love 

Ashley 

Waiting on Friday...

Friday is the day! Tomorrow we are 20 weeks and half way through this pregnancy, 20 weeks closer to meeting our little miracle baby! And Friday is our 20 week checkup and ultrasound!! To say we're excited is an understatement, we are so ready to know what this baby is so that we can give him or her a name and buy girl or boy things!! But I think I'm most excited for our party Friday night! The gender reveal party, we've got friends and family coming from near and far and I'm so excited to see everyone!! 

So far this pregnancy has been smooth going, a little morning sickness in the beginning but it mostly went away when I got to the 2nd trimester. No crazy food cravings just normal ones, such as pizza, ice cream, fried chicken, and potatoes any kind really, mashed, fried, baked, in the form of hash browns or French fries... Mmm I could eat those all day! Tonight the craving was for hamburger patties and brown gravy over rice! Mmm it was delicious!! 

I've started feeling movement, I first felt flutters about 17 weeks and now they are much more like baby movements, although sometimes I'm sure it's just gas! ;-) haha!! Baby Robbins is growing that's for sure! I'll try to post after the party with pics and everything but for now Here is a photo from yesterday. 

Have a blessed night friends!!